Charlie: I usually find her hiding behind something waiting to pounce. She is not graceful like most cats, she slips and falls a lot, and has a big belly, but she is Feisty and I love that characteristic in her. I want to be Feisty like Charlie.
Yes, yes, I know that historically there has been a negative connotation with the word Feisty. You may think of an old person hitting someone with a cane. But I think more of a woman who does not submit to the norms of her Society. She does not accept Who others have decided she should be and is totally unapologetic about it. Historically, this has been very inconvenient for some. But that is just why I love it; it is rebellious and signals freedom and empowerment for the women who choose that attribute.
Currently, as an older woman, I especially feel the societal tug to conform and "gracefully" fade away or step passively aside while the more youthful experience life. But the feisty part of me says "No, fight for it". My saggy eyes and wrinkles have nothing to do with my fitness for life. Being Fit for living looks different for each of us but is not diminished by an older appearance. My looks have nothing to do with my aliveness. So we can put the shovel away.
As we age it is important to mentally check how we view ourselves in light of the visual and physical changes we experience. Our body is still our friend. It has been there for us every step of the way. This is evident with every scar, age mark and wrinkle we find. But we don't always believe that. Our brains tell us otherwise. We call ourselves wrinkled, flabby and pale. We groan and complain about our aching knees. We think it is a lost cause and quit trying. Then we blame our bodies for our mysterious weight gain as we recline in our chair and eat cake.
There is another option though. It is to be feisty and fight for your life. This means transforming your mind to think differently about yourself and your body as you get older. If you want to make a change but are struggling to make progress, I can help you. Click here for a free mini-session to get started.
#2 Don't be a People Pleaser
My husband and I had been under the impression that Charlie was a People Pleaser until recently. We have had Charlie for less than a year now. My adult daughter helped me pick her out this summer to keep me company while my husband, Kent, worked out of town. Since then, Kent has returned and has been curious and a bit confused by cat behavior.
Charlie is Very vocal. She even wakes up and meows at us when we walk by if she has been sleeping. I have just assumed that Charlie was very friendly. I imagined her little meows as a polite, obligatory "hello"; How nice of her to wake up to do this. But Kent is different, he is an investigator and so, has analyzed her behavior closer. As a result, yesterday he declared a different perspective on Charlie and her "greeting".
At closer look, Kent determined that Charlie is no People Pleaser after all. Her meows at us as we walk by are actually a warning not to disturb her slumber. How did he determine this? He reached out to her and Charlie reeled back and swatted him. Charlie's meows were not about being polite and or about pleasing us; it was about what she wanted and that was to be "left alone" . A Cat is very pleased to wake up, give warning not to be disturbed. I do not suggest that we swat people but, even so, Charlie does have some good advice for us Humans.
Humans are perpetual People Pleasers. We are constantly doing things, we often do not want to do, to please other people. That is why we have the whole "how honest should you be" conversations with our children. We want to be honest but we want to please other people more, so we lie. We say "yes" when we want to say "no", we show up when we want to stay home, we volunteer when we want to have fun.
The problem with this approach is that we give our power to other people and think they are controlling us. This can make us feel angry and resentful towards them. I don't know about you but I would rather someone be honest with me than be resentful towards me. We can only hold on to anger and resentment for so long. Eventually, there is usually a big swat in the end.