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I went for a short walk yesterday in the cold and my foot got caught on the concrete causing my body to launch forward. I probably looked like a circus clown in my attempt to recover. Fortunately, my balance exercises have helped, and I was eventually able to gain control of my body . But, it was pretty dramatic.


The importance of balance was the first thing I learned as I studied to get my personal trainer certification. Especially as we age, we tend to lose our proprioception. That is one Big awkward word! The word itself puts your lips out of balance. Anyways, it basically means our sense of where our bodies are, and as we age we start losing it. That is why balance exercises can be so valuable - they help us not fall on our faces.

As I was falling, I have to admit, in the moment I was just as concerned about hurting my ego as my body. Depending on your level of self-acceptance, embarrassment can be almost as painful as physical pain. Fortunately, accepting who I am unconditionally is something I have been exercising as well. But that has not always been the case.


A good part of my life has been spent avoiding embarrassment. Why? Because I sought acceptance from other people rather than myself. As I reflect, I see how limiting that can be. Fear of social embarrassment can cause our lives to be totally out of balance to where we end up watching life more than living it. We become paralyzed in our theatre seats watching a play we can't find the courage to act in. All the while, hoping some outside force will change things for us.


In reality, we are the only ones with the power to act in our lives, we just don't realize it. The power of acceptance is always available within ourselves. Fear of Embarrassment does not have to limit what part we play in life. Take time to nurture self- acceptance so you can freely step onto the stage of life, even if your role requires a theatric stumble, fall and dramatic recovery.

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Charlie: I usually find her hiding behind something waiting to pounce. She is not graceful like most cats, she slips and falls a lot, and has a big belly, but she is Feisty and I love that characteristic in her. I want to be Feisty like Charlie.

Yes, yes, I know that historically there has been a negative connotation with the word Feisty. You may think of an old person hitting someone with a cane. But I think more of a woman who does not submit to the norms of her Society. She does not accept Who others have decided she should be and is totally unapologetic about it. Historically, this has been very inconvenient for some. But that is just why I love it; it is rebellious and signals freedom and empowerment for the women who choose that attribute.

Currently, as an older woman, I especially feel the societal tug to conform and "gracefully" fade away or step passively aside while the more youthful experience life. But the feisty part of me says "No, fight for it". My saggy eyes and wrinkles have nothing to do with my fitness for life. Being Fit for living looks different for each of us but is not diminished by an older appearance. My looks have nothing to do with my aliveness. So we can put the shovel away.

As we age it is important to mentally check how we view ourselves in light of the visual and physical changes we experience. Our body is still our friend. It has been there for us every step of the way. This is evident with every scar, age mark and wrinkle we find. But we don't always believe that. Our brains tell us otherwise. We call ourselves wrinkled, flabby and pale. We groan and complain about our aching knees. We think it is a lost cause and quit trying. Then we blame our bodies for our mysterious weight gain as we recline in our chair and eat cake.

There is another option though. It is to be feisty and fight for your life. This means transforming your mind to think differently about yourself and your body as you get older. If you want to make a change but are struggling to make progress, I can help you. Click here for a free mini-session to get started.


#2 Don't be a People Pleaser

My husband and I had been under the impression that Charlie was a People Pleaser until recently. We have had Charlie for less than a year now. My adult daughter helped me pick her out this summer to keep me company while my husband, Kent, worked out of town. Since then, Kent has returned and has been curious and a bit confused by cat behavior.

Charlie is Very vocal. She even wakes up and meows at us when we walk by if she has been sleeping. I have just assumed that Charlie was very friendly. I imagined her little meows as a polite, obligatory "hello"; How nice of her to wake up to do this. But Kent is different, he is an investigator and so, has analyzed her behavior closer. As a result, yesterday he declared a different perspective on Charlie and her "greeting".

At closer look, Kent determined that Charlie is no People Pleaser after all. Her meows at us as we walk by are actually a warning not to disturb her slumber. How did he determine this? He reached out to her and Charlie reeled back and swatted him. Charlie's meows were not about being polite and or about pleasing us; it was about what she wanted and that was to be "left alone" . A Cat is very pleased to wake up, give warning not to be disturbed. I do not suggest that we swat people but, even so, Charlie does have some good advice for us Humans.

Humans are perpetual People Pleasers. We are constantly doing things, we often do not want to do, to please other people. That is why we have the whole "how honest should you be" conversations with our children. We want to be honest but we want to please other people more, so we lie. We say "yes" when we want to say "no", we show up when we want to stay home, we volunteer when we want to have fun.


The problem with this approach is that we give our power to other people and think they are controlling us. This can make us feel angry and resentful towards them. I don't know about you but I would rather someone be honest with me than be resentful towards me. We can only hold on to anger and resentment for so long. Eventually, there is usually a big swat in the end.

Charlie, is right to say no, "don't touch me" when she is sleeping. It is much better than being swat or bit. The truth is, we would do everyone a favor by being honest with ourselves and others. Being a People Pleaser may please people in the short term but in the long run no one is pleased. You are unhappy and eventually ,when resentment builds up and the truth comes out, they are not happy either.


If you want to work out your people pleasing thoughts,

schedule a free mini session.

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