• Instagram

Updated: Jan 23

Life Lesson #1 from My Cat Charlie:

Don't Worry about what People Think

Charlie, does not care or worry about what I am thinking when she jumps up on my desk, walks across my keyboard and interrupts my Zoom meeting. She has a place she wants to be and she goes there. It does not matter to her that her rear-end and tail happen to be on video.

That fact is irrelevant to her because she lives her life the way she wants to and freely accepts the consequences. Whether or not she may knock something over or slip and fall is of no concern to Charlie. She has a life to live and by golly, she is going to live it, her way and on her own terms.

I want to be more like my cat.

In my 59 years, I have have wasted too many hours worrying about what other people think. I have altered my behavior to avoid social ridicule or rejection and have dodged opportunity because I was afraid of public embarrassment.

Embarrassment and Rejection are horrible feelings and something I have avoided in the past. But now, I realize that they are just emotions and do not actually injure me physically. I have also noticed that if I just feel it, it goes away pretty fast, and I am soon onto the next endeavor. No arms or legs go missing when I am embarrassed or rejected by others. It is just a feeling in my body and I can endure that. The price is too high not to.

When I comes to living the life we want and expanding our life experience, worrying about what other people think can be paralyzing. When we do this, we give our control to others and Forfeit the opportunity to create the life We Want.

How often do you change what you think, say or do because of what other people may think of you?

Keep control over your life by allowing for the risk of feeling embarrassment and rejection.

Then you will be able to live the life you choose, not the one others choose for you.

If you would like to learn how to regain control over your life,

Schedule a free mini-session.

2 views0 comments

Updated: Jan 23

There is a road rising behind my house called Barnes. Its path winds up to a big prairie overlooking our city. The view from the top is beautiful but the climb is difficult. The harsh grade has offered me a great opportunity for exercise. At the time, the walk was a moderate challenge but what I loved mostly was the view. In order to increase the cardio challenge, I decided to run-walk the steep hill in intervals. To allow myself to even consider it, decided to break it up in bite sized intervals where I ran from from parking sign to another parking sign and then walked down an interval to rest. If I started at the top and did this on the way down, I could run the whole length reasonably. Down two signs, up one, down two, up one. I have never entertained the idea of running non-stop all the way up this steep grade though. I had settled for my easy, manageable interval plan.

Winter is upon us now and my Barnes Road outings are few and far between. Still, the hill tranquilly sits behind my house, alone, but not silent. Each day, when I look out my window, Barnes Road calls out to me. Our relationship had been a good one, but now it seems to have turned on me. It taunts me and it tells me, I settled and gave up. It mocks me and says I didn't even try; I settled for easy, I settled for less.

This heckling will not stop... from sunrise to sunset, it keeps taunting me.

Should I entertain the possibility? I have been afraid to even consider it. If I try and my result is less than what I want, I will have myself to answer to. The hill may be satisfied but I will not. My own heckling will start and I am more afraid of myself when I fail, than myself when I give up.

I find it curious and interesting that I set boundaries on what I will even consider in order protect Myself from Myself. But in reality, I am not protecting myself at all. I now deal with the hill taunting me along with my own voice telling me that I settled. I am harassing myself either way. So I might as well try and risk failure.

Fear of failure is like that. We decide to fail ahead of time by not even trying because somehow we think we are protecting ourselves from failure. But we aren't. What if settling for less was worse than not trying at all? What if trying for more was succeeding even if we didn't get a perfect result and not trying was the real failure?

I am allowing myself to rethink this and accept the challenge. Barnes, I am coming. I will answer your call with a big:

"No, I will not settle".

I will try and I will conquer you.

Thank you for reaching out, my friend.

I will see you today a 2 pm!

3 views0 comments

Updated: Jan 23

For the first time in my memory, my husband Kent, got really focused on completing a 1000 piece puzzle during the Christmas Holiday. Yes, a jigsaw puzzle. It makes sense because it featured Edward Gorey art. He was the artist who drew the macabre drawings of Masterpiece theatre. My husband has a dark side, but I never fully realize his enthusiasm for it until this year. Kent also picker out our Christmas cards, which was a surprise to say the least. Guess what design he chose? You guessed it, Edward Gorey. So this year, we sent out Holiday Greetings depicting Fiery Punch Bowls and the Ceremonial Disposal of Fruit Cakes. I can't complain; it was 2020 after all.

To add to the sinister tone, Kent insisted that the puzzle manufacturer had plotted against him by including a piece that was inconsistent in color pattern & sheen; Therefore, they were deliberately trying to thwart his efforts.

He set the piece aside as not to be thwarted and focused on the ones that seemed to work. I laughed at him and told him how ridiculous he was being. But really, now that I think about it, I am no more sensible than he is.

There are days when I sit back and wonder if some universal force is conspiring against me. It is easy to do this. I get frustrated when I am not getting the results I want and then I assign responsibility to a universal conspirator. I do so innocently, but in reality those thoughts are not so innocent. They can linger in the backdrop of my mind as an easy excuse to keep doing the same familiar things over and over again and expect a different outcome. After all, the universe does not have the time to disrupt all my efforts; there are other humans to toy with.

This is a silly way to think but nonetheless it persists.

In reality, Life can be a real puzzle. All our actions and input must be consistent with the picture we want. If we keep putting the same pieces together, but want a different outcome, we will be continually frustrated. If you find yourself getting the same unsatisfactory results over and over again, consider changing your actions. I know that is scary and uncomfortable but far less frustrating. Kent got his Edward Gorey picture by finding the pieces that worked and setting aside the one that didn't work. Yes, it Was actually the wrong piece from a different puzzle.

I can't help but think that there is some poor person out there crawling around on the floor trying to find a missing piece that will never materialize. Hopefully, they will change course and start on a new puzzle soon. If you need help changing course, Life Coaching may be the missing piece. Schedule a free mini- session

©2020 by Teresa Joan Coaching. Proudly created with Wix.com

  • Instagram